Sometimes I act like a fool.
Maybe I'm a fool.
People say 'never give up your dreams'.
May everybody that says that had already given up their dreams?
And what if your dream is, in reality, unachievable? Would you still fight for your dream to come true?
I'm so exhausted. No matter what I do, no matter how many times I try, it'll never happen.
I'm almost convincing myself I should get a chair, sit, and wait my life to be over.
You may say I'm doing too much drama.
All that I show is a fucking smile on my face. No matter if I'm dying, I'll tell you all that I'm just fine.
Honestly, I don't see any of you doing something to help me. In some cases, because no one gives a shit about what I feel. In other cases because there's nothing to be done to help me.
What I feel inside is consequence of what happens outside. Even though this phrase is true, I'm almost the only one who can do something to make me feel better. Then, the problem goes to another part of me. I mean, my emotional side fights against my rational side.
I don't take a serious position just because when I use too much one of these sides, the other complains and I always end giving up. What happen in this case? Well, I cry. I fucking cry.
I don't know why I'm writing this all. Maybe because I can analyze better what I'm feeling, maybe not.
The conclusion is: I'm sick, maybe I'm mad.. Anyway, I don't give a fuck to what I have, because all I will do is keep living this shit life until Death convokes me.
And if anyone of you comes to me and say 'what's going on?', 'I wanna help you'.. well, better go to the hell before I say it to you. You just cannot do anything to help. Remember that before say I'm being stupid with you. In addition, I prefer to keep anything else that is not written to myself.
44.caliber love letter